Arriving Dallas

After 4 hours of solid driving, I am finally in Dallas now. I am in my motel room, using their WiFi. Seriously, I still much prefer living at home. Never really enjoy the idea of either living in hotel or motel.

Packaging

I took a half day off this morning so that I can complete packing my stuff. I still find it strange for spending so much effort just on a one day event, an event that kind of put myself into a strange an odd situation. By then, I seemed to be able to justify everything in the name of research.

I finally plucked all my extra facial hair last night, and it was such a relief. I always hate the feeling of having hair above my month, and couldn't help but touching them. Have them all off kept me from being distracted from work.

One great thing about driving my car to the convention is that I don't have to worry about pick and choosing stuff to bring with me for out of town. Whatever I feel like, can go ahead and bring them with me regardless.

anxiety

It's so strange, but I have so much anxiety that I didn't even have energy to pack up my stuff, do laundry, or even eat last night. Just like before, though, sleeping seems to be the cure for majority of my problem. And I am feeling so much better now after a good night sleep.

Mostly I think it's the anxiety of not finishing everything on thing. The work in the office is still in the unsolved mystery stage. A lyrics work has to be done before Sunday. And then packing up for a convention of a strange world that I am still not totally prepared to get into.

Reading tons of post on the cosplay site makes me think of a few thing. For instance, it's nice to be a teenager, because everything has a plan B: ask my mom/dad. For a grown up, there's no such a plan B. You an entitle to all the action you take, and you take your own responsibility. This can be a double edge sword.

Fit in

Suddenly feel the sadness that through out our life, we spent so much time trying to fit in, trying to be accepted. The rich, the beauty and the smart ones got more chips on their acceptance game, but eventually that simply mean means they will move into a more competitive arena while they try to be accepted by the other beautiful, rich and smart people. Even the so called outcast has their own set of acceptance rule within the in group, which makes it even more sad if you become the outcast among the outcast.

Living in a cocoon only works for a certain while. Sooner or later you can't stand it anymore, and start walking back to the pond, only to realize that while you were away, they took the time to sharpen their edges, and now you found yourself having even more hard time fitting in.

Fabric Glue

I was looking around trying to find something to mend costume I case I need it at A-kon. And then I found this Aleene's® Super Fabric™ Textile Adhesive Glue , which seems very nice except that it's not on sale at Walmart (which I was told available locally). So I continue searching around and found that it's probably available at Michaels. Maybe I'll check it out sometime tomorrow.

Third time was the chime

It was such a nightmare last night when I tried to practice putting on fake eyelash last night. I tried and tried and it failed. 3+ hours wasted, plus one side of the fake eyelash was ruin. I went to bed with headache and frustration.

Today I continue my study on learning how to put on fake eyelash. I think I got it nailed this time. And alone the process I learned some tidbits that works at least to myself:

• Avoid putting on eyeshadow before putting on fake eyelashes. The powder seems to make
  

  

  it much harder to keep the eyelashes to stay on.
  
  However, I did have some luck to put on fake eyelashes even after putting liquid eyeliner on first. So both naked eye or the eye with liquid eyeliner worked for me. Eyes with Eyeshadow put on failed.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
• Don't wait until the glue totally tried up before put them on. I tried so many times and they failed like hell. Eventually I put the glues on an eyelash, waited for 30 seconds to 1 minute and then I put it on. I tried that method twice and both worked pretty well.
  
  
• Don't try to forcefully pull tried glue form the edge of the eyelash. You may ruin it. And in fact that's exactly how I ruin a fake eyelash.
  
  
• A good lamp and a mirror is a great help for the process. In fact I will bring this set to A-con to make my putting on of eyelash as painless as possible.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
• Be very very patient. The more you rush the worse the result. And with the eyes tensed up, it will be so much harder to put on eyelashes.
  
  
• I accidentally brought a full set when my old glue was actually working fine. In fact, it's the EXACT SAME BRAND. Oh well.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
• Use the eyeliner marker I mentioned before (in the photo) to slighly tap the area which fake eyelash was applied in order to make the fake eyelash blend in better.
  
  
  

Great that they are not expansive

I listened to my friend's advice to get some metallic color lipstick. So I got this Maybelline A22 Metallic Mauve from Target for $6. Well, not as great an idea because the color didn't seem to stick out on my lips. Sigh, great that it's not that expansive.

I also brought this $6 Mascara. I haven't tried it yet, and hope that this doesn't suck as much as the lipstick.

Shoes, and I hate high heel shoes

Today I brought a pair of pink pump in order to match my pink qipao. Couple of things I learned form the process.

• These pumps look OK but really not that comfortable. But I guess pumps are usually not comfortable after all.
• Colors look different when seeing in real life. It turns out that the pink color looks LIGHTER than the photo on the web site. At first I thought it will match my dark red qipao, but now I seems like it works much better with my light pink qipao.
• I should get 9.5 instead of 10. The 10 will still work fine with the padding I add, but it maybe even better if I get the 9.5 I originally got. I swapped them before 9.5 seems to tight when I tried it on bare foot. But when I tried my 10 with my feet on pantyhose, I suddenly feel like my feet were slightly deeper into the toe area, and thus left more room on my heel area, makes it slightly too easy to slide out. But then, the problem seems to be fixed after I put in some padding.
  
• Another reason I got 10 was because while the 9.5 was perfect fit on my left foot, I found it too tight on my right foot. yeah my feet are different in size, makes it very painful to my shoes.
• Once again, I am thankful that I don't have to wear these high heel daily. It so painful. my pair of boots, which is in 9.5, is much comfortable to wear.

Dreams about making movie

Whenever I have dreams while I am sleeping, it's always something wired and interesting. Like last night I had dreams about making movies. And there were NOT about me making movie, but instead a lot of artists from Hong Kong and America taking about making their own independent movies, including the fat dude from SuperBad. I just wonder why the hack will I have that kind of dreams.

Static on a wig

I was a bit annoyed by the static on one of my wig. I guess I brushed it too much, and that the quality of the wig is not particular great. So there were some hairs floating in the air, and that really didn't look. I sort of inspired by reading this article, and so I tried brushing those hair with some water, and it seems to work. I know, though, that eventually they may dry and fly again, so maybe I'll just put some hairspray in the morning of A-kon, and see if it helps.

2nd attempt of putting on fake eyelash ...

I still remember my first attempt of putting on fake eyelash a few days before last Halloween. That was a bad experience. and the result was terrible. Today night I gave it another try for the sake of a A-kon preparation. Surprisingly, it wasn't as bad as I thought. At least they stayed at where they should be.

I will give it another practice this weekend. And this time I will add liquid eyeliner and eyeshadow, and see how it works out.

Aftermath of shaving

The itching of my legs were bugging me even 3 to 4 days after I shaved. It affected my performance in my ballet class and it made my work day slightly more painful. It's the fifth day after the shaving now and I finally feel better. But then it may be also the side effect of having 8 to 10 hours of sleeping last night.

Parking

I hope someone still read this thread :-m ....

As my preparation to A-Con continue, I started to think about transportation. I will drive my car to Dallas, and thinking of parking my car at Hotel Garage. Based on the A-kon web site, it's $12 per day, which is OK consider that I can use my car as a mobile locker. I am planning to change costume in the middle of the day, and the last thing I want is carrying the second costume everywhere I go.

But then I also realize that the A-kon site seems to encourage people to use public transportation. Hmmm .. what should I do ...

Her straight forward makeup advice

In order to better prepare for A-kon, I showed some photos I posted on our gallery and let my friend to criticize. I was a bit surprised that she gave me quite some straight forward comments, which I totally appreciate her honesty. Here's the exact quote from here:

Eye
- do round eyes, don't make a tail at the corner of your eyes
- Use more eyeliner on the upper lip
- use fake eye lashes and mascara
- Make your eyes look big
- don't draw the lower eye line
- Go for Smoky Eye look, using a lot of purple

Lip Stick
- Don't wear cherry pink lipstick
- Pick silvery pink lipstick instead

Overall
- Your makeup makes you look old, kind of like a old hooker


She pointed out that the lipstick I used was too old fashion:


And instead I should take one of these:



She also suggested me to go for a look like this:



And finally she urged me to use fake eyelash.

All these mean that I need to do some shopping in the coming 48 hours. Is there any favorite brand that you can recommend for:
- lipstick
- fake eyelash
- eye shadow

I prefer something that works well instead of something cheap. Basically something in a reasonable price range. In the meantime, I'll probably take a trip to H.E.B. and see if there's anything reasonable that I can try.

Bloody beauty

After A-kon I need to spent a weekend to play with splashing inks on paper, scan it, and then turn them into some flower like blood stink. I am working on a story about two dancers fighting (martial art x Chinese dance) and I need blood shed like in a romantic way, like flowers. I saw people did that by splashing ink on paper, scan it, and the Photoshop the black ink into blood red. I want to do pink instead of blood red.

Sigh, maybe a high concept that I don't have skill to cope with, but I have to try it.

Itchy

The side effect of shaving my legs and everywhere started to show in the last two days. My legs was itching like hell yesterday. It's better now, and still annoying.

MAC Foundations I used today

Test drove MAC Full Coverage

I like doing everything according to planning. And based on my calendar, I would test drive MAC Full Coverage that I brought (technically it's a free sample after purchasing the power foundation) today and at the same time test run all main costumes I prepared for A-Kon.

The test went well, I was impressed by Full Coverage's ability to conceal those ugly beard shadow especially under strong lightling. In fact, I was actually disappointed when I looked into the mirror after I put it on and told myself, "darn it, it looks just the same as my old concealer. But the magic happened when I compare the photo I took this time with the photos I took last time. Full Coverage does great job under spotlight.

Character

This is the character I drew, which also a character that I will crossplay as.

Eye browse

I spent a whole hour to pluck my eye browse, plus doing the aftermath, like cleaning up the restroom and so on. And then it took me another hours to shave my leg.

It's a lot of work but I think the end result is pretty OK. I am sort of talking today as the pre-A-kon testing and try to make sure that everything is relatively OK.

By the way, the Schick Quattro Titanium free sample that I got was much better than I expected. I used it shave everywhere and so far I was pretty satisfy with the result. It seems to make sense to pay more for a razor.

Once again, my blog as my notepad

I got some foundation from MAC. In case I forget later, let me write it down:

Product Name: Full Coverage
Color: NC20
Description: Oil based Foundation

Product Name: Select Sheer Pressed
Color: NC15
Description: Powder based Foundation

Crave for job satisfaction

There wasn't a lot of serious work to do at work in the last several weeks. Believe it or not, that actually depressed me. I felt upset when a work day passed and I didn't accomplish something concrete. That why I am in relatively good mood today as I solved some technical database problem. The process was pretty painful and the frustration actually drove me into sleep (:-p) 2 to 3 times, each about 5 to 7 minutes. But eventually I solved the problem and I wrote down the solution both on my blog and in a email to my teammate.

Now that's a good work day.

Bracelet and necklaces

This set of Bracelet and necklaces is a gift given by my dance teacher before I left Hong Kong.

MAC Studio Tech

I heard some great things about MAC Studio Tech, which supposed to work better than putting on tons of concealer. It sounds even more convincing when a previous dance group member recommending it. However, I am pretty confused by the whole MAC product line. They have MAC Studio Fix, MAX Select SPF and so on. So I guess maybe go directly to the counter and ask for advice, maybe?

Mongolian Dance Boot

I brought this pair of red boots when I was in mainland China. They are dance boots for Mongolian dance, something I really love. It's a bit unfortunate, though, that they are slightly too tight for me to wear them for more than 1 hour. The sales at the store said that they never had any female dance boot larger than 40. So now I stuck with European size 40. ....

Boots that fit

Among all the boots that I have, I like this one the most mainly because it fits me the best. It's in European size 41, and I can wear it for a whole day (which only happened once in my life), and still don't feel pain on my feet. I can't say the same to my other boots, though.

Black boots

Like my earrings, I brought this pair of boots when I was in Hong Kong. I like the leather like generic look, but it's slightly bigger than my size. I asked the sales if they had European size 41 but she said 42 was all they had. I liked the style so much that I brought it anyway.

Nap

Just woke up from an hour nap. I always think that my crave of sleeping is my sign of being old.

Great laugh with 30Rock and Colbert Report

I finished watching 3 episodes of 30Rock and an episode of The Colbert Report. I always love 30Rock and the political satire in the Season 2 Episode 15 (Jack goes to Washington) was just dead on. "No, it's not leaking. We checked." speaking while the ceiling was leaking .... that's exactly how the government handle problems.

After all, Tiny Fay was a co-writer of Weekend Update back in the SNL days. Writing political puns should be an easy thing to her and her crew.

And then I was laughing out loud while watching Colbert Report May 7 2008 about a person who totally disclose his daily life online as a practical gesture to give a finger for the government putting him in the terrorist checklist. You know, the main reason why The Colbert Report and The Daily Show are popular is because our government simply enough joke material daily that all these shows need to do is present the reality. So fun .. but ... so sad....

Earrings

Inspired by a friend, I am putting photos of stuff from by wardrobe, with a bit of back story about where and how I got those items.

I am starting with these several pairs of earrings. I got them when I was in Hong Kong, shopping with my friend a few days before I left the city. Getting earrings for myself is a pretty challenging task, for I don't have a earring holes on my ear, so I need a way to convert regular earring with nail into clip-on. It turns out that my friend's colleague knew how to do it, and she promised to send the converter earrings to me. But then months passed by and I still hadn't received my earrings. I checked with my friend and she was sorry about not having time to send the package out. Eventually she sent them out with souvenir she got me during her Xinjiang trip.

So here they are, not anything particularly spectacular but I like them.

Graphic card

I am running GeForce 8300 GS on a Quadcore 2.4GHz Dell. Good enough for Daz Studio (a nice a virtual world crossplayground.) I am so willing to pay for a better graphic card, but too bad Daz Studio doesn't take advantage of hardware graphic card when doing final rendering.

I only happy when it rains

I play guitar and drumset. Wearing black boots and skirt playing "I only happy when it rains" by Garbage is awesome.

And I don't quite understand the idea of having fun playing Guitar Heroes or Rock Band. But then I have fun playing Dance Dance Revolution even though I do ballet and a bit Jazz and HipHop. Oh well...

My Wii

I suddenly realized that I haven't turned on my Wii for almost a month. So I turned it on, and check to see if there's any update. Nope, there's none.

.... Nintendo really needs to think about how to use Wii's net capability more effectively. Right now it's pretty tiresome.

Maybe a game of Super Mario Galaxy before I turning it off.

So I decided to go to A-Kon 2008

I decided to go to A-Kon 2008, the first convention I've ever attend in US. This will also be my second time crossplay in public, so I have to say that I am feeling very excited. This is also the first time I go out of town driving all by myself, which is great since I have a few audiobooks that I never get chance to finish. This will be the chance to finish them all.

My biggest concern, though, is that I have a terrible sense of direction, just like Ryoga Hibiki in Ranma 1/2. In fact, I am seriously thinking about getting a GPS for this trip. Thinking ... still thinking ....

Support

I am very lucky that I have a few friends, all female, who know my crossdress secret and being very supportive. Too bad that they are not around me now cause they are in Hong Kong and I am in Houston. Last year, me and one of them booked 2 hours of dance studio time and she taught me a solo Mongolian dance for female. That was probably the only time I dressed that gown in sort of public.

I wonder if there's any club in Houston that I go with my night gown.

And, nah, I don't have enough friends here to throw a party, plus my roommate will kill me for doing that :-E .

How often do I dress up?

How often do I dress up?

But based on my record (somehow I am very obsess in documenting my life), during the last 6 months, I dressed up twice each month. Usually I was very emotionally aroused before the session, and then get very tried afterward. Plus I am kind of obsessive compulsive, and always take a shower, put everything (boots, gowns, gloves...) back to the right drawer, folded properly, or even did laundry to clean everything (I love the clean smelling of clothing). So a dress-up is always time consuming to me.

QiPao

My mom saw me in QiPao back when I was a teenager, and she didn't seen to be troubled by it. In fact, last year I was trying out my Mongolian gown in my room when she came in trying to ask me some question. "Your dress costume looks so pretty" she said, literally.

I remember she said something like "I have two daughter" a few times before. So to a certain extend I think she accepted it and even support it.

P.S. I remember that I gave her a green qipao as a mother's day gift years ago. I wonder if she's still keeping it.

Joining the community

Last night I looked into finding a discussion group or chat room for people who crossplay in Houston area. I found one, but thought that it's more lean towards "cross" than "cos". And then something striked me: why don't I join Crossplay.net and take a look? So that's what I will do tonight (it's 8 a.m. now and I need to get to work).

Besides Crossplay.net, I also came across Yamicon , I wonder what conference it is, but at least it seems to have a section for crossplay. I guess I am crave for a place or an event or something that allows me to crossplay in public instead of just in my living room. Some club in Houston maybe? (but my friend told me something like I will be attacked dressing like that, or something. So I am a bit worry."

Wig, clean

I woke up this morning and found that the wig I washed yesterday afternoon was already dry. I touched it and really like the clean feeling. I guess I am a little bit obessessive complsive after all.

I didn't do anything particlarly special, just regular shampoo and water, washed the wig gentlely like washing real hair, and then hang it up for drying.

But I found that I shouldn't brush a wig too much because it will create some static, make some hairs sticking up like hanging in the air.

Cleaning Wig

After finishing a photo session a while ago, I went ahead to do the laundrary and washed a wig.

It's been 9 years since the last time I washed a wig because .... well, let's just say that my last attmept of cleaning my old wig was disastrous to say the least. Actually I didn't even know if I am doing it right this time. Basically I soaked the wig into cold water, use shampoo to generally wash it, and now I have it hanging on a string. Nothing particularly magical, but all handle with care ... sort of.

Restocking foundation

I know for almost a year that I almost used up my foundation, and very much looking forward to get some when I get back to Hong Kong for vacation later this year. I tried finding match color ones here in US. The attempt failed and I got stuck with some useless foundation. Besides, my friend in Hong Kong has better eyes. After all, she still have dance performace frequently, and obvious knows about makeup better than I do.

Identity Crisis?

Yeah, I am just starting, although I've been writing blogs for years, this is the first I have a blog for my another side. It's mostly inspired by Emsy Chan and his couragement of expressing himself. Thanks dude.

I guess with my lack of ability to remember stuff (it takes a lot of time and effort to hide your secret identity), I will be exposed soon. But ... what the hell ...