Every once in a while, I will ask myself why I am still doing ballet when I am obviously suck at it. That question usually came up when there's one of two smart students, usually teenagers with years of training, attending either the intermediate or the beginner class. Today there are severals, and one of them was a younger man. So my ego shrink even further then used to.
My ration mind absolutely knows that I shouldn't care about the others, that I should just focus on my own problem, improve and grow in my own terms. But my emotional side still got tingled. I have a pretty big ego, and usually only do stuffs that I am good at, so that I can gain satisfaction from achieving success.
Ballet, or dance in general, is something that I suck at, and yet I just keep doing and doing. I have several theories about why I have such a behavior. None of them really make sense.
On the bright, the shame will makes me remember what step I did wrong, so that I can practice a bit when I am at home.
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